Faith-Trust-Love-Believe

A note: Sandy has been going to Brush Prairie Baptist Church for over a year.  She graciously shares her story, her struggles, her life with those around. Share yours and let us encourage each other.  
More photos of Sandy here.  

My walk with my Savior has been a long love affair with Him.  Often times stormy and questioning, many times angry and resentful, but all times knowing He is my loving Lord. Although I have argued, yelled and cried out to Him, His comfort and loving presence has never been denied me.

My husband died suddenly at age 58 in 1983. and Although we have always been a family of believers, I had never been through the testing of my faith and coming to know the Lord as the only thing in my life that would make living a joyous journey.  As a worldly believer I was shattered and devastated by the loss of my lover, best friend, mentor and father of my sons.

I was unable to cry, unable to work and since all my boys were adults no longer living at home, I had no direction in life other than railing at God. And boy, did I yell at him.  I wasn't listening;  I was screaming my pain and believing He no longer was listening to my tirades.

I was out on the golf course with some ladies whom I often played with, hoping that would spark me to resuming my life.  I was complaining to them how unfair and miserable life was without Jim, wondering what I was going do without him.  He was my courage, my reason to put one foot in front of the other.  I needed him.  My friends were sweetly understanding but had no answers as to why God had taken my husband from me so unexpectedly and quickly.  I was getting ready to play my turn when I had a really strange feeling. I looked around, expecting to see someone calling me, but there was no one close by. Again, I was ready to tee off after my friends, and again someone was calling me.  Finally, I stopped what I was doing and just stood there, and clear as if you were talking to me face to face I heard this voice in my head:

“Sandy, Sandy, listen to me, I know your heart is hurting and you miss Jim with all your being and believe you are unable to continue without him, but Sandy you need Me more than Jim, and I am with you always.” Talk about a giant case of goose pimples. I was dumbstruck and couldn't finish playing. I told my friends what had happened and drove home in a fog.

From that day forward God has proved His promise to me through all the heartaches and loss of son Rick at 37, as well as parents and brother.  Now facing the same cancer battle with son, Bill, and myself, I find there is such a peace and contentment.  I’ve realized in knowing that the gift of having these wonderful people in my life is well worth the hurt of missing them.  And there is peace and contentment in knowing they are in the Lord's most wonderful presence, and I will someday join them.  I am so grateful Jesus is my Savior.  I am much blessed.  I hope this is what you can use, It is hard to describe the overwhelming feeling and how truly wonderful knowing and loving the Lord is.
I wish this for all saints and sinners alike.

~Sandy